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Description of Pains on Trains

Pains on Trains is a wonderfully funny, relentlessly satirical, laugh–out–loud read aimed at giving long–suffering commuters everywhere a weapon to fight back with. Its the perfect antidote for nightmarish travelling companions everywhere!

Each character within the book is illustrated by a hilarious cartoon caricature as well as a ′pain spotting′ description which covers:

• General characteristics, which will describe the ′pain′
  
  
• Annoyance value, which rates the ′pain′ from 1 (limited annoyance) to 10 (extreme annoyance)
  
  
• Rarity, which rates the pain from 1 (exceptionally rare) to 10 (very common)
  
  
• Seasonal variations, which identifies any seasonal changes to the pain and their severity/rarity
  
  
• Avoidance/revenge strategies
  

Pains on Trains is the perfect way to take the tedium out of commuting, guaranteed to become as indispensable to the seasoned traveller as the blow–up pillow or water sterilising tablets.

Title Information

ISBN:

9781841125640

Pages:

218 pages

Format:

Paperback

Product Code:

18518

Publisher:

Capstone Publishing Ltd

Published:

26/09/2003

Edition:

1st Edition

Press and Industry Reviews

"…start 'pain spotting' and put the fun back in to commuting…"
- Publishing News, 12 September 2003

"…A new book Pains on Trains offers advice on taking it all [irritating commuters] in your stride..."
- Daily Mirror, 24 October 2003

"…hugely funny…"
- Oxford Mail, 31 October 2003

"…Pains on trains is a hugely funny and brilliantly Observed look at the different types of people…"
- Edinburgh Evening News, 1 November 2003

"…hugely funny…"
- Cambridge Evening News, 8 November 2003

"…hysterically accurate…"
- Southern Daily Echo, 8 November 2003

"…brilliantly observed…"
- East Anglian Daily Times, November 2003

"…hysterically accurate…with wonderful descriptions and illustrations…"
- Irish News (Belfast), 1 November 2003

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Customer Reviews from Amazon

About Andrew Holmes and Matthew Reeves

Andrew Holmes is a writer, serial commuter, gadfly and collector of stories and observations about the people around him. He spends far too much time on trains for his own good and is seeking professional help to overcome the obsessive–compulsive disorders that have resulted. He likes to spend as much time as possible with his family – assuming he ever gets home of course.

Matt Reeves lives and works somewhat beyond the M25. Rumours that he is the model for ′The Creative′ as featured in this book are grossly over–exaggerated. Working on this project has given Matt a more detailed understanding of the UK rail system and its commuters than he would have ideally liked. All proceeds derived by Matt from this book will be put towards his helicopter fund.

Contents of Pains on Trains

Preface.
Acknowledgements.

Trial by Commuting.

The Beggar.

The Belligerent.

The Born in a Stable.

The Broadsheet.

The City Boy.

The Clique.

The Creative.

The Deadbeat.

The Death Breath.

The Double Seater.

The Drunk.

The Engager.

The Enquirer.

The Family.

The Fast Fooder.

The Flamboyant Groin.

The Gadget.

The Gaggle.

The Group.

The Hero.

The High Flier.

The Later Stater.

The Lovers.

The Make Up Artist.

The Mammoth.

The Mobile Phoner.

The New Worker.

The Night Clubbers.

The Nose Picker.

The Nutter.

The Over Your Shoulder.

The Pervert.

The Phantom Farter.

The Reservist.

The Ritualist.

The Sardine Packer.

The Sleeper.

The Social Climber.

The Spinster.

The Starer.

The Stinker.

The Stretcher.

The Territorialist.

The Texter.

The Toff.

The Train Timer.

The Traveller.

The Vomiter.

The Wheeled Caser.

The Youth.

Afterword.

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